ANY KIND OF PAIN

You are the girl
Somebody invented
In a grim little office
On Madison Ave.


They were specific
They made you terrific:
You're All-American,
And, darling, they said so


YOU'D TAKE ANY KIND OF PAIN FROM ME,
WOULDN'T YOU, BABY?
YOU'D TAKE ANY KIND OF PAIN FROM ME,
WOULDN'T YOU, BABY?
SINCE YOU HAVEN'T GOT A BRAIN,
LET ME JUST EXPLAIN:
ANY KIND OF PAIN
IS NEVER A MAYBE


Her nose is petite!
She looks like she never
Gets nothin' to eat!


She dines with actors,
'N Wall Street characters:
Nice clothes 
See her?
She blows 
She's so important


AND SHE'D TAKE ANY KIND OF PAIN FROM ME,
WOULDN'T YOU, BOBBY?
SHE'D TAKE ANY KIND OF PAIN FROM ME,
WOULDN'T YOU, BOBBY?
SINCE YOU HAVEN'T GOT A NAME,
LET ME JUST EXPLAIN:
ANY KIND OF PAIN
IS PROBABLY HER HOBBY


They give her bunches
Of words she can say!


When she's in a bold mood,
That's right,
She's wrong!
Let's end
Her song


(It seems she's everywhere
Is this a miracle of pure evolution?
She brings the 80's
To a thrilling conclusion!)


YES, SHE'S EVERY BIT AS TAME AS ME,
ISN'T SHE TENDER?
YES, SHE'S EVERY BIT AS LAME AS ME,
LET US REMEMBER,
SHE GETS ONLY HALF THE BLAME
ONLY HALF THE BLAME
ONLY HALF THE BLAME
UNLESS WE EXTEND HER